Welcome to Deployment land

The dreaded "D" word became scarier than spiders :) When Wes let me know that he would be fapping over to the wing side i knew what was coming, i knew that it was time for those guys to deploy. I remember thinking back in Feb 2011 that Sept seemed so far away, and that maybe they wouldnt have to go. I found out what a Fro was, went to deployment briefs (first one was scary and yes i did cry after i got home) became the new owner of a POA, had to fill out paper work about where our kids would go if God forbids something bad happens, and so on. I answered questions that i wasn't prepared for and got our first taste of "the dirty D" in april when wes had to leave for a month for MV. We made a family decision for me to quit my job that i loved so i could be home with the kids 24-7. We got a 10 day leave in August, told our family see ya later, watched many of them cry because they knew Wes would be leaving for Afghanistan once he got back, i got sick and tired of being asked the same questions over and over and over, and being told im so sorry, or getting deployment compared to a week business trip away. But i smiled and answered the same questions and kept my mouth shut, because i knew that they were trying to be there for me the best they knew how. So we came back to Yuma, and slowly our friends left, and my heart raced faster every time i knew my friends were telling their husbands goodbye, i would cry when i seen my husbands gear all over my floor, i cried when we had to go to the px to get more stuff, i cried when he taugh connor how to ride his bike with out training wheels, i cried when i watched him help brilie do homework, i cried when we made dinner together...i cried alot. His day to leave changed SO many times, that by the end of it, i was just ready for him to leave. I know some people dont understand me wanting to shove him out the door and tell him to get on the damn plan already, but our house was nothing but a stress filled bubble, trying to fill it up with "last" of everything. September 19th came...dum dum dum the day i had waited for, the day that i knew my life would change, the day my kids would have to tell their daddy bye. He left early that morning so they could account for everyone, i got the last few things he needed, then the kids and i went home. We were allowed back later that evening. I had a talk with the kids before we left, i told them to be as strong as they could, and that if they could, try not to try in front of him, that when we got home, we would stuff our face with pizza, cookies and icecream and just cry all we wanted. Thankfully they had bounce houses and junk food for the families, which was a great distraction. But i could help but look around and see all these new babies, pregnant women, newly weds, children and wives and wonder...can we do this? The time came that we had to tell daddy bye, i wished for a more private area, lol but thats just not the case when you have that many famiiles, and that many guys leaving, so we settled for a spot outside. The good bye was short and bitter sweet. I always wonder if i should of done it different stayed longer, or took more pictures, or held him longer, but i could feel the tears start to come, so that was that, a hug and kiss and i'll see you later, and he was gone. We came home and did exactly what we planned cried until we couldnt cry any more.