Big dog....no bark

As most of you know we have a dog named Bella, we adopted her from HSOY a year and a half ago. She is the best dog ever, shes great with my kids, great with other dogs [sometimes she doesn't realize how big she is] and she hardly bark, she is a very easy going lovable dog. We have taken her to Petsmart and she was enrolled  the training classes there and did really good. But, i'm scared to take her to the dog park here, i can't pin point why i start to get nervous and decided to not go. I'm not worried about her at all, shes a sweet sweet dog, but my heart starts racing every time i drive up to the dog park, it over takes me and i turn around and go home. I take her out all the time on base, we go for walks, go to the track, but the dog park scares me. Well we are dog sitting for our neighbors and today i decided to take their 2 small dogs to the dog park so i could get a sense of what its like there. My heart didn't race and the dogs did great, so why am i so scared to take my dog?? I dont know if its because shes bigger or what. Its a shame and i know she would love it up there, who knows maybe i can find the courage and take her without worrying.

To Sparkle or Not to Sparkle

My friend Sabra and her friend rent out a theater room and put on the best best best party for all twilight movies. I have been to all except for the first one! Jolynn is the one who got me interested in the books, she brought them all outside one night and said here read these after rambling on and on about the books. I thought seriously 1. your reading about vampires and ware-wolfs? 2. you want me to umm...read? I was not a reader, i didn't care to read unless it was the newspaper, my facebook screen or magazines. So one boring night i decided to open the book, and in a week i had read all 4 books. I was now one of those twilight fanatic fans. I have had so much fun at each new movie, and i have also won something at each premier :) Sabra really knows how to put on a party thats for sure!! Thankfully we will still be here next year so i can't wait to see what they come up with next!!

Deployment who?

We are halfway done with deployment, i thank the holidays for making time go by quicker, i also thank pinterest, the gym, cdc, my friends, the treehouse, and having my own house :) We are doing good, the kids have had a couple of hard times with daddy being gone, which breaks my heart that they feel any ounce of sadness. They both have a daddy doll which they hug and kiss every night. Connor was having some really bad night terrors and if anyone knows of those...knows that it can be scary for any parents to see that much fear in your kids face or hear it in their voice. The doctor said it was brought on by stress and asked if there was a big change in the family recently. But i can happily report we haven't had one in over a month. Brilie had a little set back in school, it started on a monday she had finally gotten a phone call from her dad but it was cut so short and she might of talked to him for 2 mins before she had to get on the bus. I dont think she had time to process anything, and i think missing him took over her little mind. But she has showed me how to be a fighter and she is doing amazing in school, still maintaining her golden honor roll and hasn't missed a day of school! I have been going to the gym, i plan to run my first 5k Jan.7th, i wish that my husband was here to cheer me on like our old highschool days :) but i know he is my biggest supporter and he will be routing for me the whole time (in his sleep) :) We might get to talk to him 1 to 2 a week (if internet connection is in a good mood) He is in good spirits and missing us like crazy:) My family has an awesome support system, my friends have been amazing, i've met many new friends, i've poured my feelings on to my friends who didn't see it coming and yet let me cry :) My kids have met other kids that have a parent deployed, Connor goes to the cdc every day and loves his teachers and all his friends. Life right now is moving forward and we are healthy and can't wait for him to come home :)

Welcome to Deployment land

The dreaded "D" word became scarier than spiders :) When Wes let me know that he would be fapping over to the wing side i knew what was coming, i knew that it was time for those guys to deploy. I remember thinking back in Feb 2011 that Sept seemed so far away, and that maybe they wouldnt have to go. I found out what a Fro was, went to deployment briefs (first one was scary and yes i did cry after i got home) became the new owner of a POA, had to fill out paper work about where our kids would go if God forbids something bad happens, and so on. I answered questions that i wasn't prepared for and got our first taste of "the dirty D" in april when wes had to leave for a month for MV. We made a family decision for me to quit my job that i loved so i could be home with the kids 24-7. We got a 10 day leave in August, told our family see ya later, watched many of them cry because they knew Wes would be leaving for Afghanistan once he got back, i got sick and tired of being asked the same questions over and over and over, and being told im so sorry, or getting deployment compared to a week business trip away. But i smiled and answered the same questions and kept my mouth shut, because i knew that they were trying to be there for me the best they knew how. So we came back to Yuma, and slowly our friends left, and my heart raced faster every time i knew my friends were telling their husbands goodbye, i would cry when i seen my husbands gear all over my floor, i cried when we had to go to the px to get more stuff, i cried when he taugh connor how to ride his bike with out training wheels, i cried when i watched him help brilie do homework, i cried when we made dinner together...i cried alot. His day to leave changed SO many times, that by the end of it, i was just ready for him to leave. I know some people dont understand me wanting to shove him out the door and tell him to get on the damn plan already, but our house was nothing but a stress filled bubble, trying to fill it up with "last" of everything. September 19th came...dum dum dum the day i had waited for, the day that i knew my life would change, the day my kids would have to tell their daddy bye. He left early that morning so they could account for everyone, i got the last few things he needed, then the kids and i went home. We were allowed back later that evening. I had a talk with the kids before we left, i told them to be as strong as they could, and that if they could, try not to try in front of him, that when we got home, we would stuff our face with pizza, cookies and icecream and just cry all we wanted. Thankfully they had bounce houses and junk food for the families, which was a great distraction. But i could help but look around and see all these new babies, pregnant women, newly weds, children and wives and wonder...can we do this? The time came that we had to tell daddy bye, i wished for a more private area, lol but thats just not the case when you have that many famiiles, and that many guys leaving, so we settled for a spot outside. The good bye was short and bitter sweet. I always wonder if i should of done it different stayed longer, or took more pictures, or held him longer, but i could feel the tears start to come, so that was that, a hug and kiss and i'll see you later, and he was gone. We came home and did exactly what we planned cried until we couldnt cry any more.

Meet the Powells

On October 31st 2011 we got a new neighbor. I remember brilie coming inside so excited telling me that there was a shark outside chasing her and that they had a daughter and a son also named Connor. My first thought, "I'm going to bake them brownies". By no means am i anywhere near qualified to bake any sort of baked goods, actually i really suck. But i wanted to be that nice neighbor and greet them with open arms lol. I quickly threw together a cute basket filled with brownies and cute pot holders and what nots and knocked on their door...i warned them that they might not taste good and that we were glad to have neighbors...or something like that. I met her kids outside, Dylan (aka shark boy) was running around in a costume 2 sizes to small lol and then there was Mckenzie, running around with Brilie and Dylan. Who knew that i would end up considering these people my family. I have had some of the best times of my life with my dear friend Jolynn. Her husband was higher ranking than mine so she was defiantly my guide thru the first 3 years of military life. We had tons of ups and downs, trying to figure things out. I was a go on a whim type of person, she was a planner, she didnt let her kids eat regular food hahahaha (everything was overly cut up) :) and my kids would walk around with full hot dogs. I mixed my food together, she couldnt handle having it touch each other. Thru it all i can say that she has been the best friend i've ever had. We found out that we both had a love for scary movies (any movie as long as we got out of the house). I experienced my first Black friday shopping lol, we always seemed to get free food. Gah i could go on and on. Our kids were BEST FRIENDS! She had a son a yr old than Brilie, a daughter a year younger than bri, and we both had Connors the same age!!! We went every where together, kids and all and always made the best of it. The day that they packed their car down to make their long trip back to the east coast was a really sad day for my family. But even to this day...there is no separating us...this is what true friendship is like :)

Well...here goes life

When Wes first announced to me that we would become part of the military family (without really talking to me about it lol, its a funny story on its own). I of course was scared, i'd never been away from my family, we had a daughter who was 3 at the time, and i was 2 months pregnant. I knew that this life would bring its own challenges and i wasn't quit sure if i was strong enough to take them head on. Boot camp came during all the holidays so that was my first trail, we rocked boot camp. Wes went to MCT school, 2 days after he left, i gave birth to our son (with both my mother, his mother and his sister in the room lol a challenge on its own :) Soon after that he went to the school house, thankfully it was only 6hrs away from our home town. Every other weekend i would strap both kids in the car and make the long trip there and back to spend 1 full day with him and never a night because it was against the rules. We both quickly realized that we were in for a crazy ride. When Wes found out that he was getting stationed in Yuma, Az my first thought was....WHAT THE HELL...THE DESERT? I jumped on the computer and quickly started researching everything i could, i even got a "Welcome to Yuma" book with all sorts of information. I told Brilie where we were going, that we were going to be living in the desert, her first thought....are we going to live with the camels haha. We made the long long drive August 7th 2007. During the drive i found out that im terrified of driving in the moutains, and that saying goodbye to my mom and my family was the hardest thing i had ever done. Seeing big alligator tears in my daughters eyes still makes my heart sad. After 2 days of driving we finally arrived in Yuma. We were clueless on what time it was all of our clocks read different things, i remember pulling in to Loves and we went to ask what time it was the lady informed us that Arizona does NOT change time (what really?) and she also took it upon her self to tell us what streets to stay away from and how the streets and cross streets ran (she must of been able to tell that we were new). The first 6 months were rough! I didnt know a soul, my husband was working his tail off and hardly home, my poor daughter didnt have friends and on top of it..i had a 6 month old baby and all alone. We didn't get any of our house stuff for 10 days, so all of us slept on an air bed. I constantly felt alone. I ended up having to run to walmart about 930 at night to get more formula and wes was working while getting the things i needed a Hispanic guy approached me in the store, he opened his black coat full of jewelry and all kinds of other stuff and started spouting stuff at me in spanish, i dont think i have ever been so scared. I called my mom crying my eyes out because i wanted to come home :) Flash forward after finally settling in and meeting other wives and taking the links class i thought i could possible live this life style. I have fallen in love with this life and the community of the other military spouses.